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WED 25th AUG : HYPER MEMORY

I wake up time and time again tonight with a sweat on my brow. I have to shake my head to stop my brain trying to solve the unsolvable dream. My mind clicks into wondering what I have achieved since I have been in New York. Again. Again this night.

What an unoriginal panic attack. Brain, you bore me.

The problem with writing a hyper-available diary is that it becomes a hyper-available memory. Memories that should be a joyful nostalgic blur appear in technicolor detail in my mind's eye. Tonight I am panicking about the fact that Halloween is about to happen. Yes, I know it's not but in another sense it is. It's only 11 weeks to go and my memory of the last halloween feels only 11 weeks old. When my brain puts two and two together time feels like it's doubled. More panic. What have I achieved?

Solution: Sleep again on that sofa made of down.

Until I wake up again.

chasing dreams from the gaping void

August 25, 2004 in Diary | Permalink

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