FRI 27th AUG : AD NEWS

My partner at the ad agency looks up from his desk. We've both been browsing, clicking and fiddling around all morning wondering what to do with ourselves. A small package arrives by courier and he opens it. It's a letter with a small blue stick

'Hey - I just got a mail from those teeth whitening people,' he says. 'Looks like they want us to meet the marketing team, Monday, and then present to the whole company on Wednesday. They want to launch a new mint teeth whitening stick!'

My partner takes out the sample tooth whitening stick and cracks in open. He watches the nib soak up the liquid from inside the capsule and starts rubbing it on his teeth.

'Woo Hoo', I say. 'Here comes a few greens. Just before I head back for a visa stint to the UK.'

There's no answer from my partner. His hand just shuffles up and down as he rubs the stick against his teeth. His eyes are all glazed and a spittle of dribble begins to hang from his bottom lip.