WED 23rd JUNE : BIG SHOW

Went to the launch party of Big Magazine's new issue centered on Vegas at a red-velvet matted place called Show on 41st (and 6th). To celebrate we were given some rather burlesque entertainment: as we walked in a lady/stripper/dancer with red shiny tassels was pouring water over herself on stage with a sponge. I avoided her final spray by getting in at the bar whilst the rest were trying to get a better view. Gin & Tonic Promotion. Nice to visit an old friend from time to time.

Next on stage was a very rounded lady. She did a dance, wobbled her large bottom, took off the few robes she had to reveal fetching g-sting and then gave us a whirl with her tassels.

Then a sword-swallower called John Fox came on stage. I realised that I've never seen a sword-swallower in real-life; especially one looking like an LA rocker that called the audience 'mo-fos' and proceed to place all sorts of equipment down his gullet: screwdrivers, knives, tweezers, a cigarette, a balloon and of course a rather long sword.

A lady with big red feathers gave us a burlesque dance. Her tassel twirl at the end was a tad disappointing. Popped in for another Gin & Tonic. How did I have ever forgotten good old G&T?

Then came on the official Mermaid of Coney Island and apparent Corn Queen to do a chicken dance. Wearing a mask that would catch Big Bird's attention she wiggled around the stage to a rock track, flapping her arms, pulling yellow feathery strings around before half undressing then giving a final wiggle.

Following the bird woman came tiger and taimer combo. The taimer was in, erm, lycra and the tiger was a guy in a big fluffy white suit. The tiger jumped about a bit until he got fed up with his taimer, attacked him, erm, got him to strip and then mauled him to death. Probably.

After this came a woman painted head to toe in red paint; wearing a black dress with a skull plastered across it and a huge dense wig. Her eyes were black and her teeth looked half knocked out. She sang a rocky rendition of a cheesy song. Suddenly as she was about to end she does a hand stand, legs splayed, and the woman with red feathers comes out and cracks three eggs upon her person.

After that and despite more Gin the woman dancing with the snake by the poll on the bar lacked any thing special. That and the fact that she had to wrench the poor bugger out of his bowl and then twist his length around her and the cold metal. He had the same expression as the rest of the audience had all night: 'what the hell's going on?'